An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
