I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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