yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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