This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
