Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Randomize
