I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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