we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize