i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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