batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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