A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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