I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
