his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
