Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize