you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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