Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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