I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
