hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
