Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
