i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
