The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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