wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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