Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
