we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
MIDGETS
????
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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