I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
are you so shy because you have an std?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
