marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My feet surprised me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
