This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
