somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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