Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Screwed.edu
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
