He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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