He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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