I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
