remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
