It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
