So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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