I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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