Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
