My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
