We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
