I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
