Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am in a vortex of obligation.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
