Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
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I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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