I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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