He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
