To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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