apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
