So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
