Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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