We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
They have beer where we have blood.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
