i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
