Already got asked if we're dating
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize