oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Terrible idea I love it
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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