Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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