You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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