i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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