It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
