Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
