I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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