I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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