That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
