Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
