i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i dont even know how to be here
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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