I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Semen is not good for contacts.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
