Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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